Mark Poprocki—Mark Poprocki
By Dan Kadlec
March 12, 2015

Making personal sacrifices for the good of your children is Parenting 101. But there are limits, and financial advisers roundly agree that your retirement security should not be on the table.

Still, parents short-change their retirement plans all the time, often to set aside money for Junior to go college. More than half of parents agree that this is a worthwhile trade-off, according to a T. Rowe Price survey last year. Digging into the reasons, the fund company followed up with new results this month. In part, researchers found:

  • Depleting savings is a habit. Parents say it is no big deal to steal from retirement savings. Some 58% have dipped into a retirement account at least once—most often to pay down debt, pay day-to-day living expenses, or tide the family over during a period of underemployment.
  • Many plan to work forever. About half of parents say they are destined to work as long as they are physically able—so why bother saving? Among those who plan to retire, about half say they would be willing to delay their plans or get a part-time job in order to pay for college for their kids.
  • Student debt scares them. More than half of parents say spending retirement money is preferable to their kids graduating with student debt and starting life in a hole. They speak from experience. Just under half of parents say they left college with student debt and it has hurt their finances.

We love our kids, and the past seven years have been especially tough on young adults trying to launch. So we shield them from some of life’s financial horrors, indulging them when they ask for support or boomerang home—to the point that we have created a whole new life phase called emerging adulthood.

Yet you may not be doing the kids any favors when you rob from your future self to keep them from piling up student loans today. Paying for college when you should be paying for your retirement increases the likelihood that they will end up paying for you in old age, and that is no bargain. They may have to sacrifice career opportunities or income in order to be near you. You’ll go into assisted living before you become a burden on the kids? Fine. At $77,380 per person per year for long-term care, it could take a lot more resources than the cost of borrowing for tuition.

It sounds cold to put yourself first. But the reality is that your kids can borrow to go to school; you cannot borrow to retire. So get rid of the guilt. Some 63% of parents feel guilty that they cannot fully pay for college and 58% feel like a failure, T. Rowe Price found. Nonsense. Paying for college for the kids is great if it does not derail your savings plan. But if it does that burden must become theirs. That’s Parenting 101, rightly understood.

Read next: Don’t Be Too Generous With College Money: One Financial Adviser’s Story

You May Like

EDIT POST