How I Conquered My Fear of Going Broke

For a long time I've had what I'll call a scarcity complex: I'm always worried, or I have in the past always been worried, that I'm about to go broke.

Even though that's not the case, every now and then that thought comes up.

I think I was always worried. My father was an entrepreneur and had a computer software business in the 1980s. And every month, every day, he would come into the door and say, 'Next month is gonna be our big month. We’re gonna sign a big deal and everything's gonna be huge.'

And so I was always thinking we were about to be rich, and it never happened. He never really achieved his financial goals. But there was always this constant sense of anticipation and then eventually he went totally broke and his business went out of business. And I think that really scared me [to think] that I was gonna repeat his pattern.

I was always afraid that this was gonna happen to me, and I guess I still am afraid... I think it's important to realize that, as they say in the investment world, "Prior performance…is not a predictor of future performance." And, I think that's what I've always had to convince myself of, and it's only in the past few years that I've really more or less convinced myself of that.

A few years ago I kind of hit bottom.

I sold a company…and I sold it for a lot of money. And then I just kind of spent [the money] like crazy, and it really was just insane the way I would just spend money like it was nothing.

And so I ended up losing all my money, losing my house, getting divorced and really being too ashamed. I was ashamed to tell people about it. This has happened to me before. This happened to me like four, five times. The exact same thing. And so I had to say myself, 'Well what worked on the way up? And what didn't work on the way down?'

I think less about money and more about my health. For me the key to having a good relationship with money is to realize that money is much less important than I always thought it was.

What's much more important is my belief in myself. I find that money is just a byproduct of living a healthy life.

Am I constantly generating ideas and... exercising my idea muscle? And am I grateful for what I have? I started focusing everyday on improving my life physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually…by just 1%.

Instead of going out drinking, and eating—and not exercising and not sleeping—I had to focus on my physical health. I had to focus on just being around people who I really enjoyed, and who trusted me and loved me.

The best predictor of a successful tomorrow is to have a successful today. And the only way to have a successful today is to be healthy in those areas I just described. If everyday I do those things, then…I will have money.