Slipping discs

If you’ve had it… had it… had it with brand-new phonograph records that skip, wobble or sound as though they belong in your breakfast bowl instead of on your turntable, you’re not alone. Problems with records — both classical and popular — seem to be amplifying.

One reason: improved audio equipment. Fidelity is so high nowadays, say recording-industry sources, that you can hear the slightest flaws on a record. But, adds Len Feldman of the Institute of High Fidelity, an audio equipment trade group, “Some defects are so blatant you hear them even on inferior equipment. The situation is worse than ever.”

Skimping on petroleum-based vinyls is one cause of poor quality. Thinner records are less resistant to warping. Also, some record factories melt down and recycle unsold copies of Saturday Night Fever, say, without removing dust, dirt or even the label. The result: surface noise. The basic problem, however, is lack of quality control in the pressing process. CBS presses more records than any other U.S. company — for its own labels and many others. “They have concentrated on costs rather than on quality,” says Morris Ballen, president of Diskmakers Inc., an independent pressing plant. CBS isn’t talking.

To get better control of quality, one company, Warner Communications, has opened its own pressing plants for its Elektra-Asylum and other labels. Additional labels regarded by critics as less troublesome than most: A&M, Mercury and Polydor. Records made in Europe and Japan, under such labels as London, Deutsche Grammophon and Victor, are also considered a couple of cuts above most American-made discs.

Kilowatt cutter

Cold showers are one way to take some heat off soaring energy bills. For owners of electric water heaters, a less jolting way is to install an Efficiency II, a new heat-pump water heater. The manufacturer, E-Tech Inc. (3570 American Dr., Atlanta, Ga. 30341), says the Efficiency II consumes 50% to 70% less electricity than a water tank’s heating coils, and users’ experiences seem to support that claim. The unit can also replace gas jets, but there’s no cost advantage now.

The Efficiency II draws heat from the surrounding air and transfers it to the water tank, heating water as fast as a standard electric heater. It also acts as a dehumidifier, a boon to damp basements but a bane if there’s no handy drain. One other possible drawback: since cool air is a byproduct of the pump, surrounding temperatures may drop about 5°F while the pump is running.

At $549, the Efficiency II costs more than most water heaters, and it doesn’t qualify for an income tax energy credit. However, it should pay for itself in about four years at the average U.S. electricity rate of 5¢ per kilowatt-hour. The unit, which measures two feet high by 1 1/2 feet wide, can be hooked up by a homeowner without much trouble. Professional installation runs about $50.

Homeowners report promising results. Since installing an Efficiency II last August in his house in Fairburn, Ga., Andy Costello, a computer services supervisor for Delta Airlines, says his electricity bills have dropped by $12 to $15 a month — a 52% reduction.

Fire boxes

What would you do if important documents such as your life insurance policies, passports and car titles went up in flames? If the answer is “cry a lot,” you should know about some fire-resistant safes that don’t cost a bundle.

Fire safes, as they’re called, range from $35 to $350, depending on size. Most are insulated by a layer of cement compound sandwiched between two layers of steel or plastic. John D. Brush Co.’s Sentry Survivor (about $35 at a discount), for example, has a plastic shell. The safe measures about 8 by 13 by 17 inches, small enough to fit under a bed. It weighs about 40 pounds. For $350, Meilink Safe Co. sells a heavy steel safe measuring 20 by 21 by 28 inches. Safes made by Brush and Meilink withstand peak temperatures of 1,700°F, far higher than those reached in a residential fire.

Bubbled waters

What goes into a bathtub, is more fun than a rubber duck and costs a lot less than a built-in Jacuzzi? One of the new cordless whirlpool devices. Gillette’s Compact Cordless Whirlpool, for example, is the first totally immersible, portable whirlpool appliance. If, despite sore muscles, you’ve shunned other portable water massagers because they plug in, never fear. The only charge you can possibly get from this battery-operated unit is from the swirling water.

Gillette’s Whirlpool lists for $145, while a built-in Jacuzzi bath is $1,400 and up, plus installation. The Gillette has only one water jet instead of a Jacuzzi’s three or four, which confines the action to about a third of the tub. The Gillette unit is also less powerful, but its effect is soothing nevertheless. You can move it around the tub, and you can choose between a steady, swirling flow of water and a pulsating action. The sealed low-amperage battery runs the unit for about 30 minutes between rechargings.

Pollenex also has introduced a cordless whirlpool ($140). It hooks over the edge of the tub, but it can’t be submerged or moved around like the Gillette. Jacuzzi makes portable whirlpools too ($230 and up), but they plug in.

Stemming shoplifters

Next to inflation, the culprit most responsible for high prices is the shoplifter. It’s estimated that the average family pays $300 to $500 a year — the price of a new color TV — in higher prices to cover retailers’ losses. Nine years ago, in self-defense, civic-minded Philadelphians organized STEM (Shoplifters Take Everybody’s Money). Their aim: to educate the public that shoplifting is a costly crime, not a harmless prank.

It’s working. While shoplifting continues to climb elsewhere, STEM helped reduce it by 12% last year at downtown Philadelphia department stores. The stores won’t say that prices have gone down too, but they insist that prices are not going up as much as before.

Since a third of shoplifting is done by teenagers, STEM volunteers take their message to schools, scout troops and parents’ organizations. STEM also runs newspaper and television ads with messages meant to make would-be shoplifters think twice. Example: “Ken swapped a college education for a $6.50 shirt.”

At least a dozen other places have started STEM programs. For more information, write to STEM Inc., P.O. Box 1982, Philadelphia, Pa. 19107.

March checkout:

► With the Fever Scan, confirming your suspicion that a child has a fever is as simple as feeling his forehead. The Fever Scan ($2.29) isn’t as reliable as a mercury thermometer, but it’s quicker (15 seconds vs. three minutes or so) and it’s not breakable. It’s a 3 1/2-inch plastic strip containing heat-sensitive liquid crystal bands that, pressed firmly to the forehead, change color to indicate temperatures from 97° to 104°F. The Fever Scan is available at drugstores or from the American Thermometer Co., P.O. Box 1509, Dayton, Ohio 45401.

► Lee Traub, a gourmet cook in New York City, got tired of messing up her silk shirtsleeves as she went about her last-minute chores in the kitchen. So she designed Cleansleeves, a smocklike apron that covers a cook from wrist to neck to hem. Made of machine-washable cotton and polyester, the $16 apron can be found at department stores.