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When Tragedy Strikes a Young Family

- Fuse—Getty Images
Fuse—Getty Images

I have a client who is 39. He’s married and has two young children. He has an extremely successful career. He and his family are really hitting their stride.

One day he started to feel unwell. Eventual checkups led to a diagnosis of cancer. His wife called me on a Saturday morning to discuss the shock of what they were going through, and to get some basic sense of what to expect next, financially.

There’s no way to prepare yourself for this kind of devastating news. Brené Brown discusses this eloquently when she talks about "foreboding joy" — the sense we sometimes have, when things are going well, that something terrible will happen to us or someone we love.

This mental rehearsal for the worst-case scenario doesn’t make it any easier when we get tragic news; instead, it gets in the way of our truly feeling joyful and present in the moment right now.

What can give us a lot of peace of mind is financial preparation — the knowledge that our families will be taken care of if something happens to us. Here are some important elements of that planning:

A few weeks later, I had lunch with this couple. The husband was about to have surgery. "If I don't wake up," he asked, "what's going to happen?"

It was the best of a bad situation: He had insurance. They had an emergency fund. They had the necessary end-of-life and estate-planning documents. Were he to not pull through, his wife and children would be in a position to try to find a new normal. (In fact, he did pull through, and he's working on his recovery.)

The most important thing for any patient with a long-term illness is to focus on his overall health and mental outlook. Having financial plans in place allows a patient to set other worries aside. He can tell himself, "In the worst-case scenario, my family will be all right. Now I can focus on 'What can I do to be well?'"

All our days are numbered. The question is, can you be present for the time that you have? The right financial plan can ease the way.

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H. Jude Boudreaux, CFP, is the founder of Upperline Financial Planning, a fee-only financial planning firm based in New Orleans. He is an adjunct professor at Loyola University New Orleans, a past president of the Financial Planning Association's NexGen community, and an advocate for new and alternative business models for the financial planning industry.

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