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Published: Sep 05, 2023 7 min read

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Rangely García for Money

This is an excerpt from Dollar Scholar, the Money newsletter where news editor Julia Glum teaches you the modern money lessons you NEED to know. Don't miss the next issue! Sign up at money.com/subscribe and join our community of 160,000+ Scholars.


You know that classic scene from Parks and Recreation where Chris Pratt’s character, Andy Dwyer, tells Ron Swanson all of his secrets? He starts off easy, like “I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks” and “I didn't actually sell my last car, I just forgot where I parked it,” before he reaches the meme-worthy confession “I don't know who Al Gore is, and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.”

Well, that’s me with gold.

I know who Al Gore is (obviously — I lived in Florida in 2000), but I truly feel like I missed some sort of class where everyone else learned the basics of gold. I have a lot of questions that I’m too embarrassed to ask. Why would someone buy gold? How does someone buy gold? Isn't it heavy? Are they literally storing gold bars in stacks like pirates in cartoons?