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Dementia Care: Protecting a Father's Legacy

Theodore Fisher with his daughter, Theresa Von Vreckin. - Christopher Churchill
Theodore Fisher with his daughter, Theresa Von Vreckin. Christopher Churchill

At first, Theresa Von Vreckin chalked up her father’s odd behavior to fatigue. Her dad, Theodore Fisher, had been the primary caregiver for her mother, Mary, who was ill for more than a decade. When Mary went to a nursing home, Fisher visited his wife every day for two years until she passed away in 2012.

“I thought he was just exhausted. But after my mother died, I began to notice more things,” says Theresa, a business analyst who lives with her husband and two children near her dad in the suburbs of Buffalo.

When Theresa's son graduated from high school, Fisher was uncharacteristically subdued. One night after a dinner out, Fisher—who'd lived in Buffalo 50 years—got lost driving home. In fall 2013, when he began to hallucinate that other people were living in his home, Von Vreckin took her dad to a neurologist.

Theodore was diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia, the most common form of dementia after Alzheimer's (and the same disease from which the comedian Robin Williams suffered at the time of his death). "My dad was a chemical engineer, a very intelligent man," says Theresa. "Now there are times when I am not sure he knows who I am."

Theodore, 77, is in a nursing home that costs $13,000 a month—now covered by his long-term-care insurance policy and pension income. Theresa, 50, is in charge of managing her father's $1.5 million investment portfolio and wants to fulfill his wish to leave money to his family. But she feels overwhelmed by the task, since his assets are spread out over more than a dozen accounts.

Theodore Fisher lives in a nursing home near his daughter and her family. - Christopher Churchill
Theodore Fisher lives in a nursing home near his daughter and her family. Christopher Churchill

Advice for Theresa

Von Vreckin says putting her dad in a nursing home was the hardest decision of her life but she knows it was the right one. "My dad always went out of his way to help others. I think he would be very happy that we're sharing his story if it helps other families too," says Von Vreckin.

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