--- title: How to Talk to Your Aging Parents About Money description: Are bills piling up on Mom's kitchen table? Are you worried Dad might fall prey to a scam? Time to discuss if they need help… authors: - name: Ismat Sarah Mangla url: https://money.com/author/ismat-sarah-mangla/ at_money_since: 2010 articles: 10 covers: - Personal Finance - Career Advice - Credit - Credit Cards - Insurance - Lifestyle social: - https://x.com/ismat former_staff: true published: '2013-03-28T14:20:06.000Z' modified: '2013-03-28T14:20:06.000Z' section: Personal Finance tags: - aging parents - caregiving - eldercare - Face to Face - family money - Financial Planning - Kids and Money - seniors word_count: 547 canonical: https://money.com/how-to-talk-to-your-aging-parents-about-money/ type: Article source: structured-blocks --- > **Disclosure:** We research all brands listed and may earn a fee from our partners. Research and financial considerations may influence how brands are displayed. Not all brands are included. [Learn more](https://money.com/page/disclaimer/). ![Cosmos (Early Sensation Giant)](https://img.money.com/2011/02/10070511.jpg) *Cosmos (Early Sensation Giant)* Are bills piling up on Mom's kitchen table? Are you worried Dad might fall prey to a scam? Time to discuss if they need help with their finances. Proceed carefully because they may not see things as you do: A 2012 Fidelity study found that while 24% of adult children think their parents will need a hand with money, 97% of the parents do not. "Conversations about money with your elderly parents are really about control -- something they don't want to lose," says David Solie, author of *How to Say It to Seniors*. Try these tips. ### THE GROUND RULES **Drop the attitude**. An I-know-better air will put their backs up. Take care your concern doesn't come across as if you think their intelligence is diminished, says Solie. **Avoid saying "you should..."** Those two little words are sure to put them on the defensive. **Bring in a third party.** To your mom and dad, you will always be a kid -- which is why the talk may go better if you deliver it alongside an outside expert, says Paula Span, author of *When the Time Comes*. ### WHEN YOU'RE FACE TO FACE... **1\. Opening gambit.** "Mom, I just read an article with great tips about how to simplify managing your money as you get older. Can I share a few of them?" **The strategy:** "Bring yourself into the equation as a helper, not an overseer," Span says. Framing the advice as someone else's ideas may make your parents more open to accepting them. **2\. Dangle a carrot.** "I think we can save you some money on your cable bill, Dad. How about we take a look?" **The strategy:** Suggest a small, concrete action with a clear payoff to start. An Allianz survey reveals that 61% of older Americans worry about outliving their money, so helping your parents cut costs is a good first move. Seeing how beneficial your suggestions can be is likely to make them more receptive to other, more serious forms of help. **3\. Keep your warnings indirect.** "I know you're too smart for this, but I want to tell you about this scam I heard about so you can warn your friends." **The strategy:** Being straightforward -- "Mom, Dad, you need to watch out for people who ask for your bank account online" -- may feel patronizing to your parents. Instead, plant a seed that doesn't reflect on their competence to manage their affairs, says Colorado elder-law attorney Catherine Seal. **4\. Ask if you can tag along.** "My friend's dad keeps getting invited to free-lunch retirement seminars. Do you? I'd love to go if you go." **The strategy:** Instead of trying to put the kibosh on a move you know is not smart, stand beside them during the sales pitch, suggests Kim Linder, a caregiver consultant. Then ask tough questions that will push your parents to think before they leap. **5\. Use metaphors.** "You wouldn't buy a used car without a mechanic checking under the hood. Same goes for your investments. Let's have a financial adviser look into this." **The strategy:** "In the second half of life, the right brain becomes the gatekeeper for information," says Solie. 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