'An Endless Spiral': Why People in Debt Often Can't Stop Spending Money

America has a growing debt problem: Outstanding balances are up, missed payments are climbing and high interest rates are making it all more unaffordable.

The result? Some consumers are changing their lifestyle to deal with debt, adjusting how they spend and save, as well as how they cope with money stressors, according to a new survey from Achieve and Money.com.

The study, conducted in February, asked 2,000 U.S. adults how they felt about their financial situation. Consumers who felt they had more debt than they could manage were more likely to report negative emotions and physical effects, resulting in behavioral changes.

These findings mirror recent warning signs that suggest debt is increasingly straining many households. A recent report from The Century Foundation finds that more than 40% of credit cardholders — roughly 111 million people — cannot afford to pay off their balance each month. Consecutive updates from the Federal Reserve, meanwhile, show household debt is climbing while delinquency rates remain elevated across loan types.

Cutting back, saving less and borrowing more

One of the clearest signs of strain is how often borrowers say they have had to pull back spending to manage their debt.

Among all survey respondents, 26% said they reduced spending on basic needs such as food, clothing or household items because they could not meet their debt obligations over the past year. But that share rose sharply among people who felt their debt was unmanageable: 40% of those who had “a bit more debt than is manageable" said they cut basic spending, along with 47% of those who said they had “far more debt than is manageable.”

Discretionary spending often gets trimmed, too, but the cuts don’t stop there. Borrowers under pressure are also draining savings accounts. Roughly 3 in 10 respondents with unmanageable debt said they had withdrawn money from emergency savings, and about 1 in 7 said they had tapped into retirement, college or other long-term savings accounts.

In some cases, the tradeoffs get worse. The survey found 14% of respondents had skipped a monthly bill or debt payment because they could not keep up. That number jumped to 26% among those with a bit more debt than they can manage and 37% among those with far more. Those with unmanageable debt were also much more likely to report increasing their credit card debt to cope with their existing obligations.

Shame, anxiety and regret can feed unhealthy habits

The behavioral shifts in the survey are tied to the emotional side effects of constantly juggling debt. Embarrassment, anxiety and feeling overwhelmed were some of the most commonly reported feelings.

Borrowers who felt they had too much debt were also much more likely to say they had felt hopeless about improving their financial situation. While about a third of respondents with no debt or manageable debt reported those feelings, the share surged to 62% among those with a bit more debt than is manageable and 82% among those with far more.

Kevin Feig, a Massachusetts-based certified financial planner and financial therapist, says that the sense of discouragement can be hard to shake.

“Everyone wishes they had a time machine and they could jump in their DeLorean and make some different financial decisions,” he says. “Those who are in debt especially live in that world.”

Those feelings of regret and shame can spill into unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Among all respondents, 39% reported experiencing increased stress eating or loss of appetite because of their financial situation over the past year. That share rose to 54% among those with a bit more debt than manageable and to 63% among those with far more. One in five respondents overall said they had used alcohol or other substances to cope with financial stress, including more than a quarter of those with somewhat unmanageable debt and 35% of those with the heaviest perceived debt burden.

Even relationships can be affected. A quarter of all respondents reported intimacy challenges with a spouse or partner tied to their finances, but that figure more than doubled among people with unmanageable debt.

In fact, the stress of trying to manage high debt can reinforce the behaviors that initially led to the problem.

“Sometimes it’s an endless spiral,” Feig says. “Because of the embarrassment or the anxiety, folks tend to spend more, because you get that quick high.” The relief is temporary, but the debt isn’t, he adds.

Why debt (and debt stress) is so hard to break

One of the challenges in overcoming these negative thoughts and behaviors is that people are hesitant to talk about it, says Jaelyn Vickery, a financial therapist based in Chicago.

“It’s still not normalized in our society and culture to talk about these things with our loved ones or in the workplace especially,” she says. That makes it harder to identify the underlying issues that contribute to your feelings of anxiety or shame around money.

What’s more, avoidance is common, with people being more reluctant to ask for help because of the shame or embarrassment they feel around their finances. More than half of survey respondents with unmanageable debt agreed that they often ignore or delay important financial decisions due to stress or confusion. A similar share said they were unsure where to go to get help with finances.

“We live in a world of so much information … I think a lot of folks just struggle with analysis paralysis,” Feig says.

What can help, he adds, is building a realistic plan and having an accountability partner to lean on, whether that is a financial planner, therapist, trusted friend or family member.

“I think having someone who believes you can do it, having a legitimate plan and seeing the bigger picture, that there’s actually good stuff after this is over,” he says. “That all helps give folks some confidence.”

What to do when overwhelming debt takes a toll on your well-being

It can also help to think about your debt differently, Feig says. Instead of viewing debt as a mistake, think of paying it down as an investment in your future. Paying off high-interest debt, especially credit cards, can deliver a return that’s hard to match elsewhere.

From there, focus on your cash flow and ensuring that you’re spending intentionally, he says. That means reviewing where your money is going and whether it aligns with your priorities and long-term goals. That process can reveal places to cut back, such as takeout, impulse purchases or forgotten subscriptions, and free up money for debt payments. If you’ve already trimmed what you can, increasing your income through a higher-paying job or side work may be the next step.

Then choose a payoff strategy that fits your needs and preferences. Feig, for example, favors the debt snowball method — paying off balances from smallest to largest and rolling each payment into the next debt as you close each account — because seeing fast results can help people stay motivated. He’s also a fan of negotiating with creditors: “It’s sort of hit or miss, but I’ve seen clients have tremendous success in terms of lowering their interest rate or … being able to settle a debt.”

Here are some common debt strategies and when they make sense:

• Debt snowball: Best for people who need quick wins to build momentum.
• Debt avalanche: Similar to the snowball, except you’re focusing on the balances with the highest interest rates first. This is best for borrowers who can stay committed without seeing immediate progress in the number of accounts they owe money on.
• Debt consolidation: If you can qualify for a lower rate via a balance transfer card, personal loan or home equity loan/line of credit, this strategy can save money by reducing the total paid in interest. But it only works well if you can avoid taking on new debt.
• Debt management plan: Best for people who want structure and advice from a non-profit credit counselor. In exchange for a monthly fee, they work with your creditors to create a payment plan and lower your interest rate.
• Debt settlement: Best for people who need a more serious intervention, especially those who are already behind on their bills. You can go the DIY route — calling up your creditors to ask if they’ll accept a lump sum payment in exchange for closing your account — or you can pay a debt settlement company to negotiate on your behalf.

More from Money:

For Most Americans, Financial Success Now Means Being Debt-Free

5 Ways to Ditch Your Credit Card Debt for Good

How Much Does Debt Settlement Really Save?