5 Smart Career Insights from J-Lo's New Memoir
In Jennifer Lopez's new tell-all book True Love, on sale this week, the singer-dancer-actress-entrepreneur has much to say about her past relationships and how they have shaped her career trajectory.
While some might be most excited by the juicier details of her breakups with Ben Affleck and Marc Anthony, J-Lo offers some nuggets of wisdom on success that can help anyone looking for career stardom. Here are the highlights:
1. Don't let money make you complacent.
Lopez says her parents, who held down multiple jobs to be able to send her and her sisters to Catholic school, were an early source of inspiration and taught her that hard work is about more than financial prosperity.
There was a certain hustle I grew up with, a hustle that I learned from watching my parents. They showed me that you put your head down and work—you work for a living and then, when you're making a living, you still don't stop... We don't stop working because we have money in the bank—we do what we do and we keep on doing it.
2. Embrace your mistakes.
Lopez is candid about the imperfect parts of her career, including less-successful albums, her tendency to succumb to pressure from managers, and times during the filming of What to Expect When You're Expecting when her makeup artist had to use ice to de-puff her eyes because of all her crying following her divorce from Anthony. But at 45, she says, she is finally able to look back on her errors as learning experiences.
Being ambitious, being a perfectionist, means I've spent my life beating myself up for not being good enough, or for screwing something up. It took a long time, but I finally figured out that I wouldn't have half the instincts or insights I've had as an artist over the years if not for those screwups.
3. Never stay in a job out of fear.
One of the scariest choices Lopez has made, she writes, was quitting the hit show American Idol after two successful seasons to go on a world tour. But she's glad she mustered the courage to do it.
I had been so afraid of it all—afraid I would fail, afraid people would criticize me... And then I realized if I didn't believe in myself, nobody else would either... If I didn't do this tour, I'd probably regret it for the rest of my life... I loved being on Idol, but it was time to move on. It didn't make sense for me to spend a third year in a row sitting on a panel, judging other singers, especially if the main reason I was doing it was for the security of it.
4. Look for experienced mentors and advisers.
Though much of her book discusses overcoming problems, particularly self-doubt, Lopez also points out that sometimes it takes someone with more life experience to point out you have a problem in the first place.
Back in the beginning of my career... I was in a meeting with my agent and stepped out for a call with my boyfriend at the time. Through the glass door, my agent could see that I was arguing and pleading. She asked my assistant, "Does Jennifer have low self-esteem?" My assistant looked at her like she was crazy. Later, when my assistant told me she had said that, we couldn't stop laughing ... "That's so stupid!" I told her. But was it really? That agent saw something I didn't. She was a little bit older. Maybe she'd been through something like that herself, or maybe she'd seen it in others.
5. Don't compare yourself to anyone else.
Like people in all fields, Lopez says, she has at times compared herself with her peers and felt that she wasn't living up to expectations. But, she writes, the only way to actually be the best version of yourself is to do just that—be yourself.
Your power is in your individuality, in being exactly who you are ... that's why there is no competition in artistry. It's not about being the best or the biggest, the king or queen. That notion is so ridiculous. That competition or comparison is actually the exact opposite of what being an artist is. As an artist, you should be in competition with only one person—yourself. You can't worry about what others are doing or saying.
For that reason, Lopez says the only advice she gives out now to less-experienced or aspiring artists is: "Listen to yourself; listen to your gut. Because only you know what's right for you."
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