3 Big College Essay Taboos—and When to Break Them Anyway

So many people talk about rules as they relate to admissions essays: You should always do this. You can never do that.

Personally, I hate rules. Well, I don’t hate them, really. I just don’t believe in absolutes for the admissions essay, especially regarding topic selection and creative execution. I believe more in a hearty set of guidelines that allow room for personal interpretation and thoughtful risk taking.

In the spirit of debunking some of the more common essay myths, I decided to tackle a few things often labeled as "Taboo" and give them the College Essay Advisors “guideline” treatment.

Okay, Taboo #1: Using curse words in your college essay

Generally speaking, the language in your admissions essay should land somewhere in the realm of polished conversation. Pretend you are talking to a teacher who knows you well. That’s the level of comfort you’re aiming for. Would you curse in front of your French teacher? Probably not. Generally speaking, you’re trying to keep things clean and above board.

That said, what if you were describing your foul-mouthed grandmother’s reaction to dropping an entire carton of eggs (“Oh sh*t!”) while making your seventeenth birthday cake? Cursing can sometimes be effectively used, often in dialogue, to help with character development in this way. (Grandma is a firecracker with kind of a potty mouth.)

Cursing might also be acceptable if you are recounting a story that involved one of these words and is necessary for context. This is one I have seen come up in response to the challenging a belief or idea prompt from the Common Application. Maybe you disagree with the way one of your friends was treated by another one of your peers and a curse word is helpful for context.

And, generally speaking, I would recommend the curse not come from your mouth—unless, again, it's for a very specific reason. Are you talking about the first time you let the word fly in front of an adult? It might be worth including! (Also, I want to hear that story—it’s probably hilarious.)

Moving on to Taboo #2: Which I’m going to call Drugs, Alcohol, Violence, and Sex, or DAVS

Again for this one, I have a few guidelines. You probably shouldn’t talk about your personal experiences with substances and other illegal activities. (Also, don’t break the law!) Generally speaking, these subjects can be used to establish context and should be treated with the same sensitivity and gravitas as curse words. Perhaps it makes sense to talk about someone you know who is an alcoholic and how their condition affected your life. Maybe a moment where you withstood peer pressure was a moment of pride and transition for you.

I would also recommend using descriptions of violence sparingly. If discussing violence in the context of your background story is important, try to be measured and sensitive in your descriptions.

Also remember that you do not have to write about comfortable or painful experiences. All you need to know is that it is okay to write about these subjects if it’s important to you and if you feel you can treat them respectfully on the page.

As for sex: OMG TMI. Most of the time. Again, there are exceptions. Was there an uncomfortable moment in sex ed worth recounting? Or maybe there is an idea about sexuality or gender worth challenging? If you have already lost your virginity, that is your business, not the admissions department’s. Also if your mother found out, she’d probably be very upset!

And finally, Taboo #3: Discussing your mental health issues in your college essay

There is one major thing students have to keep in mind if they choose to discuss their own mental health in their essays. The ability to challenge your condition and succeed in spite of it needs to be the focus here. Admissions can (and I assume will) not discriminate against students who are dealing with mental health problems. (It’s actually illegal!) That said, in aiming to showcase your strengths, passions, and personality, you are going to want to focus on your triumphs in the face of these challenges. Is your aim to become a nutritionist inspired by your battle with an eating disorder, for example? Mental issues are totally real, totally personal, totally life-changing, and highly relevant to the shaping of one's personality.

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Pomona is among the handful of schools vowing to meet student’s full demonstrated need with aid, so more than 70% of grads have no student debt. With 1,600 undergraduates, Pomona features close student-faculty relationships. FULL PROFILE

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Illinois’s flagship university is among the top 15 public schools on the National Science Foundation’s list of high research spenders, and its strongest programs include accounting, engineering, and physics. Students also have access to the country’s second largest university library system. (Only Harvard’s is larger.) FULL PROFILE

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Clemson was founded as an agricultural college, and while agricultural science is still a specialty, more general programs such as business are more popular today. Most every one at this rural campus is united by an enormous amount of school pride, especially around the football team. FULL PROFILE

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The University of Florida is one of the biggest bargains in higher education, with tuition of just $6,300 a year for Floridians. For that low price, students get access to some of the world’s top professors, well-respected programs in fields as diverse as astronomy and journalism, and sports teams that often dominate their leagues. FULL PROFILE

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Texas A&M has one of the largest undergraduate student bodies in the country, with more the 40,000 students who graduate into an especially proud, loyal group of alumni. The college is well known for its business, agriculture, and engineering programs, as well as a recreation, park, and tourism management program. FULL PROFILE

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Like its fellow high-ranking Ivy League peers, Princeton and Harvard, Yale is highly selective. But for students who are admitted, the college promises a very generous financial aid package and courses taught by some of the world’s most extraordinary academics. FULL PROFILE

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An elite liberal arts college, Amherst is one of a small group of schools that will meet 100% of the demonstrated financial need of students. As a result, more than two-thirds of its students graduate without taking out loans. FULL PROFILE

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BYU-Provo is the main campus of a private college system specializing in educating members of the Church of Latter Day Saints. Non-Mormons can attend, but are charged more tuition and must obey the school’s strict code of conduct. The university has a high graduation rate at an affordable price for a private education. FULL PROFILE

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The typical Rice student majors in engineering, economics, or biology, and the university is also well known in the field of political science. Graduates of the selective private school fare well in the workforce: Recent grads out-earn their peers from similar schools by 16%, according to salary data from Payscale.com. FULL PROFILE

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Harvard may be the most recognizable college in the world, and it’s practically synonymous with the prestigious Ivy League. Like many of its peers, Harvard excels in Money’s rankings not only because of the outstanding education it provides but also thanks to its generous financial aid program. FULL PROFILE

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The University of Michigan accepts less than a third of the nearly 50,000 students who apply, and is nearly as popular with out-of-staters as with Michiganders. State residents who get in enjoy an especially good deal: Michigan is one of 11 colleges in Money’s top 50 where the average in-state cost of a degree is less than $100,000. FULL PROFILE

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Princeton University's generous financial aid makes it, according to Money’s analysis, the most affordable member of the Ivy League. The school gives out such large grants to the six in 10 families who qualify (families earning less than $250,000 generally get some aid) that more than 83% of students graduate without any debt. FULL PROFILE

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All of that said, before you choose to go down this road, you need to consider carefully: Is this what you want to define you in the eyes of admissions? You're more than a mental health issue or eating disorder (even a conquered one). There is so much about you that is fascinating. In the end, you might be better off choosing something else, something that is truly representative of your personality to put on display.

With all of these taboo elements, think about them carefully before deciding to incorporate them into your essay. When in doubt, get a second opinion from a trusted adult. In the end, the most important guideline you can follow is that nothing is really off limits until you decide it is.

Stacey Brook is a writer, admissions expert, and the founder and chief advisor of College Essay Advisors, an education company that offers online courses and in-person college essay advising to students around the world. Brook has over a decade’s worth of experience and teaches the Supplemental Essay Writing course at nytEducation: The School of The New York Times. She has helped more than 1,000 students build lifelong writing skills while crafting compelling and effective admissions essays.